“阿墨，你在想什么？”楊逸見(jiàn)我不出聲，拍了拍桌子，示意我回魂，“想什么想的這么出神？”                                                                                                             我看了一眼楊逸，有些事情還是不適合在大庭廣眾之下講的，往事不堪回首啊不堪……                                                                                                             “其實(shí)一見(jiàn)鐘情在雙發(fā)感情萌發(fā)階段有著至關(guān)重要的作用?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            楊逸臉上帶著笑，伸手r0u了r0u我的頭，起初還像一個(gè)和氣的鄰家大哥一樣，動(dòng)作親昵，可到后來(lái)越來(lái)越起勁，純粹往著r0u亂我發(fā)型的目的奔去。                                                                                                             “夠了吧！”我揮開(kāi)這個(gè)把我的頭發(fā)r0u的亂糟糟的男人，然后不服輸?shù)厣焓秩0u他的頭發(fā)，卻意外地發(fā)現(xiàn)他的頭發(fā)雖短，但是無(wú)b柔軟，“嘿嘿嘿，瞧瞧你的和尚頭，手感不錯(cuò)啊。”                                                                                                             “哥我決定要出家去了。”楊逸一臉嚴(yán)肅模樣。                                                                                                             我贊許，果然不愧是學(xué)長(zhǎng)，這個(gè)職業(yè)實(shí)在是太有前途太牛叉了，居然和我的想法不謀而合。在微博上的宣傳著某尼姑庵招聘的時(shí)候，看到那每個(gè)月四千塊錢(qián)的工資，白天做法事，晚上自由活動(dòng)還能結(jié)婚生子的訊息，我就很想大學(xué)畢業(yè)之后直接去應(yīng)聘這個(gè)有發(fā)光發(fā)亮的崗位。                                                                                                             要知道，現(xiàn)在大學(xué)畢業(yè)生，多的和菜地里面的蟲(chóng)一樣，能化成蝴蝶的也就那么幾個(gè)而已。                                                                                                             ga0的好了，旁邊有個(gè)和尚廟，還能g搭一個(gè)高學(xué)歷高身材高長(zhǎng)相的小和尚，或者旁邊有個(gè)道士觀，撩撥一個(gè)穿著長(zhǎng)衫扎了個(gè)道士頭的小道士，悲劇一點(diǎn)的么，頂多也就是像微小說(shuō)里所說(shuō)的那樣“老賊尼，你休要?jiǎng)铀?，老衲和你拼了”而已?nbsp;                                                                                                            后來(lái)和靳騏交往了之后，我偶然間對(duì)靳騏談起這曾經(jīng)夢(mèng)想的時(shí)候，丫的沉默了一會(huì)之后，只說(shuō)了一句——你要真的當(dāng)了尼姑，我就白天去當(dāng)被你g引的小和尚，晚上去當(dāng)被你撩撥的小道士吧……                                                                                                             他果然是很不要臉的。                                                                                                             其實(shí)我沒(méi)有對(duì)學(xué)長(zhǎng)說(shuō)，那g本就不是一見(jiàn)鐘情，而是一賤鐘情而已。                                                                                                             當(dāng)然，小白臉的賤絕對(duì)不止有一，更有二有三。                                                                                                             在網(wǎng)球場(chǎng)事件之后又隔了三天，我又再度遇上了靳騏。                                                                                                             學(xué)校里面對(duì)新生的招聘會(huì)又再度開(kāi)始了，每年到了這個(gè)時(shí)候，我都有一種長(zhǎng)江后浪推前浪的感覺(jué)，很不幸的，我是si在沙灘上的那種前浪。                                                                                                             在通往北門(mén)毓秀食堂的那一條梧桐路上，凡事有綠蔭處，都擺了招聘用的桌子，上面擺著社團(tuán)的宣傳單。                                                                                                             多年媳婦熬成婆，在三年前我也是這樣經(jīng)過(guò)，然后一眼被楊逸煞到，然后義無(wú)反顧地投入了廣播社懷抱，終于也輪到了我今天招新的這一日，突然覺(jué)得自己有種農(nóng)奴翻身把歌唱的味道。                                                                                                             十點(diǎn)半的校園鈴聲響過(guò)，往食堂路上的人漸漸地多了起來(lái)，也有不少感興趣新生在各個(gè)社團(tuán)的宣傳桌前流連，然后詢問(wèn)。                                                                                                             我漫不經(jīng)心地和上前來(lái)的咨詢新生寒暄著，遇上感興趣的，遞上一本宣傳單和一張報(bào)名表。                                                                                                             而靳騏就是在這樣的情況下出現(xiàn)的。                                                                                                             人是一個(gè)很奇怪的存在。                                                                                                             有些角se就算是出場(chǎng)的再多，也沒(méi)能給人留下印象，這種叫做龍?zhí)?；有些戲份一般，賺了個(gè)臉熟，這種叫做p灰；而有些人，一鳴驚人，讓人過(guò)目難忘，這種叫做主角。                                                                                                             而靳騏，就是這種主角型的人物。                                                                                                             他慢慢悠悠地走了過(guò)來(lái)，yan光透過(guò)那茂密的梧桐葉灑下來(lái)的時(shí)候有點(diǎn)支離破碎，照在他身上的時(shí)候，形成了一種很虛幻的感覺(jué)，那頭發(fā)散著淡淡地光暈。                                                                                                             他像從漫畫(huà)里面走出來(lái)的一種虛擬人物，二維的不真實(shí)??！                                                                                                             可是，在這條路上的很多nv生在一眼之內(nèi)就被這個(gè)男生被萌到了，腎上腺在很大程度上收到了刺激，開(kāi)始分泌出名為“荷爾蒙”的物質(zhì)。                                                                                                             哎，這只是一個(gè)表象而已，他的個(gè)x絕對(duì)會(huì)讓一群nv人陷入悲哀的，吃過(guò)兩次虧的我在心底哼了哼。                                                                                                             他的身邊站著那天傍晚見(jiàn)過(guò)的國(guó)產(chǎn)電燈男，兩大帥哥站在一起的時(shí)候，被萌到的nv生又多了一批。                                                                                                             估計(jì)很多隱藏的腐nv正在內(nèi)心yy兩人誰(shuí)攻誰(shuí)受吧，我想。                                                                                                             靳騏慢慢吞吞地從走過(guò)，然后又慢慢吞吞地倒了回來(lái)。                                                                                                             “喲，學(xué)姐！”                                                                                                             他嚷著，我的頭皮在聽(tīng)到他這一聲呼喊的時(shí)候開(kāi)始發(fā)麻，g據(jù)上一次的經(jīng)驗(yàn)，他這么叫我的話，絕對(duì)沒(méi)有什么好事。                                                                                                             嗚呼哀哉呀！                                                                                                             “有事？”                                                                                                             我扯了扯臉皮，皮笑r不笑。                                                                                                             要淡定啊要淡定，在大庭廣眾之下絕對(duì)不可以做出丟臉的事情來(lái)，就算要撿小石頭丟他后腦勺也要等到?jīng)]人的時(shí)候，我默默地告誡自己。                                                                                                             上帝說(shuō)，在別人打你右臉的時(shí)候，你就要把自己的左臉也伸上去讓他打。上帝告訴我們，要忍。                                                                                                             凌墨，好nv不與男斗，你要當(dāng)忍者g公！                                                                                                             = =                                                                                                              “你好，我是李澈?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            站在靳騏旁邊的國(guó)產(chǎn)電燈泡開(kāi)了口，臉上帶著歉意的微笑，伸出手很示好的模樣。                                                                                                             “終于不是山寨了？”                                                                                                             我哼了哼，意思意思地握了一下手，全部心思放在靳騏身上，等待著他的出招。                                                                                                             李澈聽(tīng)到我這么說(shuō)，臉上的笑容瞬間凝固，尷尬上了三分。                                                                                                             靳騏的手指敲上了桌面，捻起了一張宣傳單子瞧了兩眼。                                                                                                             “學(xué)姐，看不出來(lái)你還是廣播社的？”                                                                                                             靳騏放下了單子，看著我，問(wèn)了一聲，聲音里面也沒(méi)有好奇的成分，頂多就是“啊，今天天氣很不錯(cuò)，你吃飯了么”這種平淡的感覺(jué)。                                                                                                             “恩?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            我哼了一聲，怎么說(shuō)我也算廣播社一大牛b的存在，你要蘿莉音我絕對(duì)不給你憋出御姐聲來(lái)，你要猛男音我絕對(duì)不給你出偽娘聲，當(dāng)年我還用這一招當(dāng)過(guò)電話小姐，幫社里面的人接聽(tīng)不愿意接聽(tīng)的電話。                                                                                                             靳騏和李澈的停留，讓路過(guò)的nv孩子像是我當(dāng)年一樣涌了過(guò)來(lái)，一邊像是真的對(duì)廣播社很有興趣地問(wèn)東問(wèn)西，一邊還能分出神來(lái)瞄著兩株好苗子。                                                                                                             我一邊發(fā)著宣傳單，順帶遞出一張報(bào)名表。                                                                                                             “阿墨阿墨，你認(rèn)識(shí)這兩個(gè)男生？”坐我旁邊的社友吳慧靜扯了扯我的胳膊，壓低了聲音問(wèn)著。                                                                                                             “算是吧?！蔽依浜?，實(shí)在是不想回想那悲劇的記憶，喝粥的日子實(shí)在太難熬了。                                                                                                             “阿墨，把那渾身散發(fā)著男x荷爾蒙的小男生拐進(jìn)我們社團(tuán)吧，保證今年會(huì)很熱鬧?！眳腔垤o提議。                                                                                                             我嗤之以鼻，我們社團(tuán)神馬時(shí)候需要美se的出沒(méi)來(lái)x1引眾人的眼球？我們一向都是少而j，j而貴的。                                                                                                             “學(xué)姐……”靳騏湊近了點(diǎn)，臉上的笑容溫暖的像是要把周圍的人都融化，“把你的飯卡借我用一下吧，我忘在宿舍了?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            我一口氣差點(diǎn)沒(méi)提上來(lái)。                                                                                                             居然有臉跟我借飯卡，你說(shuō)這人可以再無(wú)恥一點(diǎn)么？                                                                                                             “自己回去拿，男生寢室不是離食堂很近么，你想去毓秀就去毓秀，你想去假山就去假山，研究生那邊的食堂也任君選擇。”                                                                                                             我們學(xué)校有三個(gè)食堂，而男生寢室的分布也沒(méi)有個(gè)準(zhǔn)章，分布的挺零零落落的，我當(dāng)然也不會(huì)覺(jué)得因?yàn)槲覜](méi)有借他飯卡而會(huì)把這么大一個(gè)男生給活活餓si。                                                                                                             靳騏的表情似乎有點(diǎn)不大樂(lè)意，就站在那邊瞅著我，一直瞅著，大有一副我不拿出來(lái)，這家伙就不會(huì)離開(kāi)的樣子。                                                                                                             國(guó)人有一種心態(tài)，那就是喜歡看戲看熱鬧，就算大學(xué)生也不例外。                                                                                                             在我和靳騏大眼瞪小眼打算瞪到天荒地來(lái)海枯石爛之極，那些個(gè)下了課而向食堂進(jìn)軍的人cha0之中也有不少想要看熱鬧，圍將了上來(lái)，想要看個(gè)熱鬧。                                                                                                             當(dāng)然的，其他熱情的姑娘飯卡都已經(jīng)是c在了手上，準(zhǔn)備隨時(shí)塞上去給小白臉君，又或者打算和他一起去食堂用餐。                                                                                                             看吧，這就是散發(fā)著主角氣場(chǎng)的人物所擁有的福利，所到之處，染set為y的人基本上都會(huì)為之傾倒。                                                                                                             但是靳騏似乎和我杠上了。                                                                                                             算了，我忍，不就是忍者g公么，又不是第一回了。                                                                                                             我從口袋里面掏出飯卡丟給他，嚴(yán)肅地告誡：“只準(zhǔn)消費(fèi)六塊錢(qián)！”                                                                                                             mlgb的，要不是我現(xiàn)在在這邊社團(tuán)招新走不開(kāi)，我能容許你這小白臉如此放肆？食堂和外頭快餐差不了多少，各種餐點(diǎn)都有，但是一葷三素同樣六塊，別想多花jiejie我一毛錢(qián)！                                                                                                             靳騏看了我一眼，把飯卡握在了手心，然后伸開(kāi)了手掌，猛地一個(gè)熊抱。                                                                                                             “學(xué)姐，你可真是個(gè)好人??！”靳騏說(shuō)著，然后湊近了我的耳刮子低語(yǔ)了一聲，“學(xué)姐，你的紐扣似乎又開(kāi)了?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            _#                                                                                                             混蛋，你的視線一直往哪瞄呢！                                                                                                             在靳騏松開(kāi)雙臂的時(shí)候，我條件反s地去看著自己的x，這一低眼，我就知道自己又著了這混蛋的騙，我今天穿的是圓領(lǐng)短袖，g本就沒(méi)有扣子！                                                                                                             凸！                                                                                                             靳騏甩著我的飯卡，和李澈歡樂(lè)地往著食堂進(jìn)軍。                                                                                                             “阿墨，你們兩個(gè)有一腿？”吳慧靜看了看遠(yuǎn)去的靳騏，然后又看了看我之后，才小心翼翼地開(kāi)了口問(wèn)著。                                                                                                             “不，我想給他兩腿！”                                                                                                             我咬牙切齒，恨不得壯志饑餐混蛋r，笑談渴飲白臉血！